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Celebrate Recovery

No Voice

sabrena-headshotI’m currently experiencing day three of “no voice.” I can’t talk above a whisper, which is uncomfortable. I’ve had to cancel two lunch dates, two counseling appointments, Celebrate Recovery Training, a conference call, apprenticing with our new Ministry Leader, and I will miss Celebrate Recovery tonight as well. The temptation to try to talk is too great when I am around people, which just makes the healing take that much longer, as it irritates my vocal cords further. So, I sit at home, not talking to anyone all day (but God) and working as much as I’m able on my computer. I know I will begin to feel antsy and depressed if this continues for too long, as I am an extrovert who needs interaction with people to feel refreshed.

How similar these past few days have been to my life. Allowing my codependency to rule me gave me no voice. I missed out on life because I would not say what I wanted, didn’t want, needed or didn’t need. I wouldn’t do what I wanted to do and did what I didn’t want to do.  Just like trying to talk before I am healed hurts my vocal cords, my attempts to control my own life without internal healing makes life worse! Finally, just as lack of interaction with people causes depression, my codependency brings a lost connection between me and God. In bondage to others, I’m giving away my free will. This gift of free will from God allows me to thrive as his uniquely created child.

I am so thankful beyond what I can express for Celebrate Recovery! After forty years of codependency (and trying to change by my own power), God used this program to allow Jesus Christ to do his work in me. Through the Holy Spirit, my heart, soul, and mind healed, finally allowing me to have a voice, the voice he created me to have!

Sabrena Stolze is the Southeast Regional Director for Celebrate Recovery. 

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